| she folded up her fears like paper airplanes and lost them in the trees |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
|
|
the city lights just blur ♥
|
|
|
| everyone. |
[11 Feb 2005|10:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Marvelous Things -- Eisley |
] |
I got a new journal. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) my___metrocard
Please go leave a comment, add me, and I'll add you back. If you wanna be friends, that is.
<3
[i put the past into the ground
and saw the future as a cloud
if theres still time to turn around
i'm going to.]
|
|
|
[09 Feb 2005|09:44pm] |
New journal, here I come.
see YOU guys later.
<3
|
|
| I just hate the way things change, nothing is ever obvious to me. |
[07 Feb 2005|10:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
How We Kill Ourselves -- The Lyndsay Diaries |
] |
So we broke up...and I still can't figure out why.
Earlier today he told me that "he needed space." I thought he was being rash.
But now its final, I guess.
So it goes.
|
|
| I wanna go to the carnival. |
[07 Feb 2005|06:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irritated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Funeral Grade Flowers -- Evergreen Terrace |
] |
HipHipHooray for long weekends, gummy bears, friends, and piece of shit bowling alleys.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
I need summer now. Me and Marion are going to have a fucking wild Bikini Kill summer. And we arnt going to let anyone or anything stop us. I'm excited.
I love immaturity. (even though Im guilty of it)
I love cliches.
I love AIM.
Its just such a wonderful tool to rid one's self of their self-dignity.
WAY TO GO!
[You must not roll your eyes
You should not often lie
How could you ever say
That your friends won't be there
It's a long walk on a cold night
When you wanna fight
Over some day-old drama
You used to make us laugh
We want the old you back]
|
|
| "its nights like these when one fret looks like two..." |
[02 Feb 2005|08:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
A Place In Line -- The Appleseed Cast |
] |
So I went to Bright Eyes in Atlanta.
and had THE BEST time ever.
Conor was drunk as piss, fell off a drum set, and was amazing.
And he played my favourite song...Poison Oak.
Im so happy. Im just sad its over.
<3
|
|
| this night has opened my eyes. |
[30 Jan 2005|05:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 distressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Poison Oak -- Bright Eyes |
] |
thank you my dear and loving friends.
for always being honest and telling me things.
your kindness
and loyalty
makes me smile.
oh im so funny.
|
|
| Get behind the wheel, stay in front of the storm. |
[29 Jan 2005|06:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jesus Loves Me -- CocoRosie |
] |
So I'm sitting here at Marion's house. By myself. Haaa.
They all had to go out to eat with the other side of the family. And I said I wanted to stay here. Byran and Jessica are supposed to be over here soon anyways...We are all going to Jesse's tonite. Yes! I love going to Jesse's. He's such a cool guy.
So last nite I spent the nite with Katie and we went to Twitch's. That boy is crazy. And really fucking smart. I felt like such an idiot over there... and I'm pretty sure that was his goal. We watched the goriest...and greatest horror movie I have ever seen. Dead Alive? I believe it was called? Anyways. We had a good time and he made me a nice mix with Bikini Kill, le Tigre, and some other feminist bands.
Then we came back and ate about 3 tons of candy and ramen noodles...and then celebrated... I'm still trying to figure out what we were celebrating, but hey. We had fun with our seven crown, courtesy of Twitch.
The two need Bright Eyes cds are completely fucking amazing.
I love them both. And Im excited for tuesday. I can't wait...
I got a hair cut. Thank God finally.
<3
|
|
| let's not shit ourselves. |
[24 Jan 2005|07:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Make War -- Bright Eyes |
] |
EIGHT DAYS
Im so excited.
Tomorrow I get the two new Bright Eyes albums. And maybe new shoes + a new hair cut. MAYBE. hopefully.
I didnt go to school today because I fell ill again.
Jesus H. Christ.
So I slept until 5 pm. Ha Yess.
and now Im ready to sleep again!
<3
|
|
| one more saturday night... |
[22 Jan 2005|07:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Arienette--Bright Eyes |
] |
So, I'm dying.
Again.
Why do I always get sick? It's not very fair.
And this time I'm really pissed off at germs because I missed Bryan's show. :( I really was looking forward to seeing them. But germs always have to get in the way of me and my life. Well. I guess germs are now my life. fuck.
another weekend wasted.
My mom's also tied up with work stuff so Im kinda just here at the house. I know that sounds selfish ...but the only good thing about being sick was always that my mom would take care of me and make me feel better. But she has more important things to take care of. Gah, Im self centered, but I can't help feeling like this. Atleast I know she can't help it.
Im gonna go watch a movie.
<3
|
|
| and I promise, this won't be another song about being alone. |
[20 Jan 2005|04:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mixtapes and Memories -- The Lyndsay Diaries |
] |
12 days, baby.
12 days until:
Atlanta.
Bright Eyes.
Tilly and the Wall.
and Coco Rosie.
I am so excited.
Tomorrow B-rizzy is playing a show at Java! EVERYONE GO. tomorrow nite, 7 o'clock.
Anyways...
I think Im sick again.
If I have mono again... I dont even want to think about that.
God, I hope its nothing weird.
I went on a walk last nite.. It was so nice. Cold, but nice. I listened to le Tigre and day dreamed of the day I will get to drive. I can't believe I'll be 16 in March and I still don't have a permit. It's pathetic. Friends... you guys better have my back... and give me rides...please.
Naked Lunch. Read it, its great.
<3
|
|
| turn on your love light! |
[19 Jan 2005|07:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 geeky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
St. Stephen -- the Grateful Dead |
] |
Ughhh
its never going to end.
school is just going to keep getting longer
harder
stupider
more pointless
and its going to last forever.
When I die and go to hell, Im going to be sitting in Hon Chem for the rest of eternity.
Anyways
Today was lame like most days. I want the weekend to come so I can actually do something fun and interesting. For some reason I feel as if I am never going to have fun for the rest of my life. Don't ask me why I think this... I just... DO.
I need to do some yoga.
but I just start cracking up because the lady is like in the desert telling me to combine my body and soul as one in the light. I just cant keep a straight face.
I want to get out of this house.
I wish my life had more excitement. Alot of my friends are freakin bookworms who have no idea how to have a good time. Its sorta sad. I love them to death...Its just, I dont know. fuck.
this is just far too dull:
-school
-rowing
-dinner
-sleep
REPEAT
hm.
atleast my weekends are interesting.
I have a speech to write.
<3
|
|
| thats just the way it is.. things will never be the same. thats just the way it is, ohhh yeaaa. |
[18 Jan 2005|08:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ambrosia -- Jay Allen |
] |
I don't care what you say.
Tupac is awesome.
And that's that.
So I might be getting a job at this little local bookstore. Carpe Librum. My mom is like best friends with the owner. Im super psyched. The only thing is.. is that Im not even remotely close to getting my lisence..So I'm going to have to ride the bus (yes, the Kat Bus) when my Mom dosent want to drive me. Still, its cooler than your job and way cooler than no job at all.
So last weekend was crazzzzy to the MAX. And I mean it this time.
lots of fun times. lots.
School is so lame.
And I have nothing else to talk about.
|
|
| I wouldnt care if you took it all away today. Sure, I wouldnt even miss the pain. |
[14 Jan 2005|04:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Slower -- Mineral |
] |
I havent listened to this song in forever.
Thousands of feelings and memories started buzzing in my brain from the first second of the song.
"The Sands've Turned Purple." Cap'n Jazz. <3
Next song.
My song of heartbreak.
Too high of hopes.
Spring Break. Tears. Smiles. and Lies.
"Something Vauge." Bright Eyes. <3 (18 days!)
I remember what this song used to mean to me.
So much has changed.
Its so weird how songs open the doors for so many memories. They're kind of like keys. To your memories and feelings. It's overwhelming.
Anyways.
Im jealous and I don't know why.
Im sad and I don't know why.
This is stupid and I don't know why.
I just don't know why about anything I guess.
I do know why I'll have fun at attaboy tonite...because they're fucking awesome.
THATS why.
If I even go anymore.
I have alot of homework tonite.
I cant help but think about this summer. What all happened. What all didnt happen. And what all that I wish had/hadn't happened. People change. They drag you in...and drop you. And you beat yourself up for still lingering on the thought, but you can't help yourself. They've forgotton. Moved on. You're niave? Yes. You certainly are.
I hate how people change.
How situations change, for the worse for you, for the better for them. I hate when you think one thing when its acutually another. Like when smiles decieve you. Even though you don't even care now, you did then. And you remember how it hurt you then. And it haunts you at times. And it hurts to remember.
yet hate is a very strong word.
Too bad dreams don't come true.
The other day my Mom said that if I got it, I could go to Interlochen.
Yesterday. After it had finally sunk in that she would even LET me. She changes her mind.
"It's to expensive."
Yes, Mom. You're right about that one.
But its also all I've ever wanted.
But you don't always get what you want.
<3
its just not the same when you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face knowing that you lied yourself to sleep to make it better.
|
|
| I discovered its not always best to know the reasons why. |
[12 Jan 2005|10:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Love Is Red |
] |
Well lets see.
I hate school.
I hate school.
I hate school.
nothing else is really new.
no ipod. no sleep. no worries!
atleast tomorrows thursday = new OC episode.
Bryan came over today and we watched Garden State: WONDERFUL movie. I absolutely loved it.
I need to get on the ball this semester.
<3
|
|
| I repeat over and over again until I'm blue in the face with the choke of regret |
[07 Jan 2005|05:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sunny day real estate |
] |
So now I'm exhausted.
School it tireing me out.
I had my test today... I think I got the A. But Mr.Gallo is stupid and didn't grade it. My MOM was even mad because she was wanting to get my that Ipod. Fuck.
oh well.
I went on a walk the other nite. The first walk in a lonnng time, or since I got Mono atleast. It was great. The weather was nice, the sky was beautiful, and I was listening to the Appleseed Cast. You can't get muccchhh better than that.
I almost broke down today.
I realized that 2004 is over. You may think, "Well, Emily, of course it is!" But it's OVER. All those past years...I can NEVER have back. Evereverever. They are gone for good. I mean, I know you have your memories and all, but for me atleast, memories only make the past more painful. I miss the old days. And remembering all the good times just makes me miss them more.
Damn.
<3
|
|
| smile like you mean it. |
[05 Jan 2005|05:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Head Over Heels -- Tears for Fears |
] |
So today was lame. Because I had school for the first time in 5 weeks. And my classes sort of suck...except for speech, which is actually a lot of fun. Anyways, my Mom said that she'd buy me an ipod if I got an A on my AP test this friday...Im so nervous, I've never made an A on a test in that class.....fuck. Im gonna study. ALOT.
much<3
|
|
| ring out the warning bell. |
[03 Jan 2005|01:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sunset Drama King -- The Appleseed Cast |
] |
well well well.
<3
|
|
| If you're still looking for a blanket, Sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm no sort of fabric. |
[02 Jan 2005|10:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
disaster tourism -- mewithoutyou |
] |
I know, I know.. I havent updated in awhile. I guess I've just been really busy.
My new years eve was fucking AWESOME.
Went to Bryans show...the police got called on them..or the mosh their hxc breakdowns caused! ohh Im so stupid.
Anyways. then I just stayed over there.. we watched Fight Club..or he did, I just fell asleep. It was awesome nonetheless.
Then On new years day we got up and played san andreas for a while...then we went to the mall and saw a five year old buying san andreas. Its so pathetic. Kids these days are so corrupt. God save us all.
But afterwards, we just went and hung out at my house and took pictures. A roll of nothingness. They turned out greaat.
Then Marion came over. We did the usual.
...OC
then Ruby Tuesdays
then Starbucks
then Movie store. (we got Rebel without a Cause and Control room)
I love that girl.
But then this morning, Me and Mom got up and drove around North Knoxville and the old city taking pictures... it was amazing. I had SUCH a good time, and most of my pictures came out pretty well.
Then there was more OC.
and more bryan.
and marion had to leave
and then i went to bryans house
and then he came to mine
NO WONDER ALL MY DAYS ARE RUNNING TOGETHER!
Geez, I need to leave.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
energetic